Monday, March 2, 2009

Every Party Needs A Pooper That’s Why We Invited Kelly

Seems MD Anderson is obsessed with, how do I say this gracefully, well, with poop. One of the doctors actually did his thesis on IT. He’s proud of this! IT is such a big deal here that they check daily, several times a day really, to make sure you did IT. This, needless to say but I shall say it anyway, has led to some alarming circumstances for Kelly.

Kelly is not a daily IT doer which has MDA ready to flush out the details of why she is not a daily doer of IT . This has actually become a battleground between the MDA North and Kelly’s South. I, being a very regular daily doer of IT , have even offered my services to Kelly, for a small fee. She thought about it but declined stating she is not a quitter even of IT .

Things got so bad for a few days that MDA stooped so low as to slipping her IT mickeys with disastrous results. After three days with no forward movement, they brought in the big guns, Milk of Magnesia. The results were explosive leaving Kelly battered, bruised and ticked off. The North had delivered the final blow to Kel’s South and IT wasn’t pretty. I know because I was the war correspondent on duty that day.

A meeting on neutral territory was called with the following outcome. No more weapons of mass destruction will be launched on Ms. Pittner’s South and she will be allowed to go back to her normal IT schedule. I am just happy this war has ended because as we all know, war stinks.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are such good writer... this whole chapter in Kelly's and your lives will make a good book. Then a play, then off to Broadway to tell the story.. Maybe even a musical version!!!
Love to all,
Lenora

Nicole said...

As someone who is obsessed with IT - just ask my kids (my daily, "Are you okay?" "Did you eat alot of cheese today? You know how binding that is." "Maybe you need to poop." Drives them nuts) - I can totally appreciate why the doctors want to know. It's key to good health and good living! Best way to a clear body and clear mind - load up on the fiber! Cheers to making it happen!

Marla said...

Jim ~ We have all voted and the decision is unanimous. You are officially a Hansen. Poor you!

JavaJimmy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JavaJimmy said...

You mean one of those little long-haired singing moppets from the early 90's?

Everybody sing!
(Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Kelly, hang in there! No pun intended.
Thinking of you.

Victoria