Every Party Needs A Pooper That’s Why We Invited Kelly

Seems MD Anderson is obsessed with, how do I say this gracefully, well, with poop. One of the doctors actually did his thesis on IT. He’s proud of this! IT is such a big deal here that they check daily, several times a day really, to make sure you did IT. This, needless to say but I shall say it anyway, has led to some alarming circumstances for Kelly.

Kelly is not a daily IT doer which has MDA ready to flush out the details of why she is not a daily doer of IT . This has actually become a battleground between the MDA North and Kelly’s South. I, being a very regular daily doer of IT , have even offered my services to Kelly, for a small fee. She thought about it but declined stating she is not a quitter even of IT .

Things got so bad for a few days that MDA stooped so low as to slipping her IT mickeys with disastrous results. After three days with no forward movement, they brought in the big guns, Milk of Magnesia. The results were explosive leaving Kelly battered, bruised and ticked off. The North had delivered the final blow to Kel’s South and IT wasn’t pretty. I know because I was the war correspondent on duty that day.

A meeting on neutral territory was called with the following outcome. No more weapons of mass destruction will be launched on Ms. Pittner’s South and she will be allowed to go back to her normal IT schedule. I am just happy this war has ended because as we all know, war stinks.