Everybody Sing! ~ There Once Was A Girl By The Name Of Kelly Jeanne

This is Marla. There, you have all been fairly warned. Seems Kelly has decided to make my life a living nightmare until I agree to update her blog again. It's almost like having my mom back every time the phone rings.

"Hello?"
"When are you going to update my blog?"
"Uh, hello to you too. So how are you feeling?"
"Don't change the subject and by the way, why haven't you called?"

Yep, the nut doesn't fall far from the tree. So, here is the latest on Kelly Jeanne. Hey, that reminds me of a song my dad use to sing to her every morning. He would come into our room, flip on the light and start playing our toy organ whilst crooning the following:

"There once was a girl by the name of Kelly Jeanne and oh boy was she ever mean."

And people wonder why the Casas girls are so screwed up. Anyway, back to the latest medical update. Now, you need to understand medical updates can come in many forms. For instance, I could give you the boring medical terminology for what Kelly has been enduring over the last few months but where's the fun in that? So instead, I will give you the gory and yet fascinatingly funny folderol. Let me start with facial hair removal.

Seems steroids make people grow facial hair. Not a bad thing in men. Could be a great thing in women if they are looking for work in a circus. Kelly, having lost her drive to work, did not find the suggestion of Barnum & Bailey amusing and chose rather to go the waxing route. Being barely able to walk, she was delivered like a wrapped package to the closest salon where the very nice Vietnamese workers tenderly cared for her every need. First, they did her manicure and pedicure. It had been six weeks since she had been able to have them done and come to find out, this is disastrous when you have fake whatever they put on your fingers. Again, not being a beauty queen myself, I opt for the chew em off style so please forgive my ignorance regarding such earth-shaking matters. Anyway, once her fingers and toes were back to looking fake .... I mean normal .... they proceeded to suggest a full facial waxing because she was "fuzzy" from the steroids. Of course, Kelly agreed knowing that fuzzy would never cut it in beauty queen world so the waxing commenced. This is when the nice Vietnamese ladies stopped speaking English and began rapid-firing Vietnamese to one another. Seems the wax had burnt Kelly's paper-thin steroidal skin leaving her a lovely shade of fuschia. Kelly felt fine and didn't understand what all the fuss was about until she returned home to David's, "What the hell happened to you??" Again, another reason for au natural. I'm just saying!

That was the last outing Kelly had over the next few months as she has been absolutely miserable coming off the steroids. I believe her daily mantra to Char for weeks on end was, "I think I'm dying." She only said it to me once. Might be due to my reply of, "Big deal, we're all dying. Life is hard and then you die. Feel better?" Of course, her typical Mom guilt-laden reply was, "You are going to feel really bad for being so mean to me when you're standing at my graveside" to which I replied, "Nope. If you go first I'm gonna look down at ya and say, she was damn lucky to have me." Sisters. It's a good thing!

Anyway, things are finally looking up. Kel is feeling better. She isn't quite ready for company but she loves email so write. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!